Body and Soul Page 11

  “I won’t forget,” he said. The promise emerged with unwonted harshness, and he fought to even his tone. He couldn’t afford to be less than agreeable when he’d come so far with her. “This isn’t England, and I’m no longer alive.”

  “Then you don’t expect us to be—for things to be the way they were,” she said. Her skin was still flushed and she moved farther across the room, as if mere physical space could keep her safe. “What just happened was a mistake. I told you that I was searching for memories of my own. I was confused for a few minutes. That’s all.”

  Confused, yes, but not in a way David could make use of without the greatest care. For all her passion, she’d resist him tooth and nail if he approached her again. If he’d given in to his desire and taken her, even in her brief acquiescence, she wouldn’t have forgiven him. He would have lost the game before it began.

  A dangerous game. Jesse’s body was as neat a trap as any his otherwordly gaolers might set him. It could make him forget that he fought for his very existence. For eternity itself.

  If and when he seduced her, it would be to further his cause. Or because she wanted him badly enough to ask.

  “Perhaps we were both confused,” he said.

  “Then the rules I set still stand. Agreed?”

  “If you agree to share what you remember,” he said. “It’s very plain to me now. Your memories will not only restore my own, but I am convinced I can help you, Jesse. If you’ll let me.”

  Obviously that idea didn’t appeal to her. She glanced at the study door. “Not now. My friend is waiting outside.”

  “Your friend?”

  “Al. The man who—made it possible for me to remember.”

  A man. David noticed the sudden tension in his gut. “Your lover?”

  She looked startled and then piqued. “No. He’s the best friend I have in this town. I trust him completely—with everything but you.”

  David smiled wryly. “Then you wish me gone. Very well. But I’ll return to claim what you promised.”

  Her flush suggested that she read his words in the way he intended. She didn’t realize just how bold an invitation she’d issued. She, Jesse Copeland, and not Sophie Johnston.

  “I have a party to attend tonight. After that—come to the hillside behind my cabin. We’ll talk then.”

  He issued a brief military bow and then, on a whim, sidestepped the chaise and seized Jesse’s hand. He lifted it to his lips and kissed the air a half inch above her warm flesh.

  “Where the roses bloom, Jesse. Don’t forget.”

  She didn’t pull her hand away this time, though her fingers were still in his. “Not likely,” she said. The dry hint of a smile played about her mouth, and David felt a surge of satisfaction. More than that—exaltation, as if he’d just led a victorious charge in battle.

  By Wellington’s bloody beak, she liked him. He’d make her like him so well that she’d grant him whatever he asked, no matter what the past.

  He willed himself to fade before the magic did. Jesse strained to see him long after he was no longer visible. But he didn’t leave. He made himself little more than spirit, the merest shadow in the corner of the room, and waited.

  Jesse opened the study door and peered into a dim hallway. “It’s okay, Al. Can we talk? I’d like to ask you a couple of questions about … what happened to me.”

  The man who entered was big—not quite thickset but by no means a lightweight, with dark graying hair and beard. He reminded David of certain Spaniards he’d met during the war, but lacking their high temper and pride. This man carried himself quietly, like a bear walking on eggshells.

  It was then David noticed that he leaned on a cane, and the sleeve of one arm was empty from the elbow down. Wounds a man might come by in war. David studied him with greater interest.

  Al looked about the room, his stolid face thoughtful. “Are you feeling better, Jesse?”

  She cast her own final glance toward the ceiling and sat down on the edge of the chaise. “I had a chance to think about what I experienced. It was more of what happened before, Al. Not my childhood, but something else.”

  “I told you that I couldn’t reach you this time,” Al said. “You were under very deep.”

  “I lost track of your voice after the beginning,” she admitted. “I didn’t—talk about what I was doing?”

  “No. But it didn’t seem to be a bad experience, so I decided to let it continue. Was I right?”

  Jesse sagged in obvious relief and hugged herself. “Yes. The vision I had wasn’t like the first one. It was all … good.”

  “But you don’t look happy.” Al sat down opposite Jesse, his manner that of a concerned physician. “What disturbed you about it?”

  “It wasn’t my life I was living in the vision. It wasn’t even me. Not—who I am now.”

  “I see.” He hesitated. “Have you heard of past life regression?”

  She laughed hoarsely. “I’ve not only heard of it. That’s exactly what I think happened. I was in some other life. In another country and another century.”

  Al’s impassivity faltered. He began to rise, caught himself and settled down again. “Damn,” he said, the word almost uninflected. “I didn’t intend for this to happen. If I hadn’t begun to suspect, I’d have discounted it as fantasy.”

  “Reincarnation, you mean.” Jesse leaned forward and briefly touched Al’s knee. “Don’t worry. You’re not the only one who’s questioning everything you ever believed.”

  He stared at his knee where her hand had been. “There is no proof that reincarnation exists. Any number of other explanations might account for your perceptions.”

  “It’s true that it isn’t what I expected, but there are reasons this makes a weird kind of sense, happening now.” She looked up, directly to the place where David watched, but her eyes revealed no suspicion of his presence. “Not because of Gary, but … other things I’ve …”

  “You don’t have to explain.” Discomfort charged the silence between them before Al spoke again. “I don’t think it’s wise to continue, Jesse.”

  “Yes. I agree.”

  “And your hopes of revisiting your childhood?”

  “I’ll have to find another way. I’m not giving up on the business with Gary. Not ever.”

  Al gripped the head of his cane. Though he showed so little emotion, the force of his blunt fingers gave him away. “What are you planning to do?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it’s time for me to … talk to him.”

  David wondered who this Gary might be. It was evident how little Jesse relished that prospect of speaking to him.

  Al leaned forward. His cane scraped against the hardwood floor, a muted sound of protest.

  “Don’t trust him,” he said softly.

  “You see?” She met his gaze. “Even you know there’s something wrong about him.”

  “Only observation, Jesse. He’s an ambitious man, and ambitious men can be … dangerous.”

  “I know.” Jesse’s jaw took on that set look, and she stood. “Thanks for your help.” She unbent enough to smile, as if Al were the one in need of reassurance. “What we’ve done here … it hasn’t been useless. Maybe someday I’ll be able to explain.”

  “I’d like that, Jesse.” He used the cane to lever himself to his feet. “About Megan—”

  “I haven’t forgotten. I promise I’ll do what I can.” The awkwardness remained as she went to the door. “Good night.”

  “Enjoy your party,” Al said. But Jesse had already left. David lingered in the room; Al leaned on his desk with the look of a man newly defeated.

  A man who’d been a soldier knew about defeat. Al had lost much in whatever war he’d fought, though he’d kept his life. David had seen soldiers not quite so fortunate pass through limbo. Pass through and move on. If there were others like David, condemned to linger between life and death, they existed in their own private hells.

  Al was a man who kept within walls of his own ch
oosing. David was in no doubt that the man cared about Jesse much more than he revealed. But Al wasn’t likely to interfere with David’s plans for her. Her speech with Al, even her touches, had not been of the intimate kind.

  Fortunate for Al. The mere thought that another man might hold Jesse’s heart heated David’s unearthly blood. A natural enough reaction, given the circumstances. At least he wouldn’t be forced to test his ability to haunt anyone but Jesse.

  As for this talk of one named Gary—it was evident that Jesse’s problems had something to do with that name. And she’d mentioned her childhood in almost the same breath.

  Jesse’s childhood. David knew nothing of it, couldn’t guess how it differed from Sophie’s. Sophie had been anxious to escape her stifling, proper, and unambitious parents. But Sophie’s only escape had been through marriage to David, and even that hadn’t been enough.

  Any assumptions about Jesse that David based on his knowledge of Sophie were of little use to him now. The only way to learn more was to stay at Jesse’s side. A party might uncover another side of her. Like the kiss.

  He needn’t bother to reveal his presence. He’d promised to go when she asked, but there’d be no harm in his merely observing her public actions. And he found himself eager to know what troubled her.

  As if he really could help her. As if he wanted to.

  “Be careful, Jesse,” Al muttered. David came out of his thoughts as the big man went to the door. David slipped out behind him.

  Never fear, David silently told his fellow soldier. I’ll look after her. She means more to me than you can possibly imagine.

  The party was already in full swing by the time Jesse arrived.

  She had put on a pair of nice cotton pants less casual than her usual jeans, and a washed silk blouse and matching scarf she’d bought once in Redding on a whim. Her hair was up, and she’d applied a translucent dusting of blush and a touch of lipstick. The small, routine motions of getting ready had helped keep her most recent memories at bay, though her hands had trembled pinning her hair and she’d had to redo the lipstick twice. The face she met in the mirror was a stranger’s.

  Thinking was the danger. The more she thought about what had happened in Al’s study, what she’d come to understand, the more impossible it seemed. And the more inevitable.

  She and David Ventris had been lovers in a previous life. There lay the perfect explanation for her feelings, her desire, the hot rush of physical sensation when he touched her.

  And kissed her. Good Lord, she had forgotten herself in that kiss. She’d wanted him to make love to her. She could claim that it was only an extension of the dream-vision, a memory of that previous life, but she’d be lying to herself. It was more than that.

  She was not Sophie. She was Jesse Copeland, and there’d been enough of Jesse guiding her will to know exactly what she was doing before she’d recovered the good sense to break away. She was too damned attracted to him, drawn to him, pulled as much by her own emotions as any echo of a previous life.

  She couldn’t allow him to pierce her defenses that way again. It shouldn’t be so difficult to manage, as long as she remembered he was a ghost. You couldn’t date a ghost, desire a ghost, need a ghost.…

  She quickened her stride and marched up the stairs and onto the recreation deck of Blue Rock Lodge. Distraction was what she needed. She’d never been one for parties, but there was a kind of comfort in the cheerful bustle of people celebrating a happy event. Paper lanterns had been strung along the posts and trees edging the platform, and the soft liquid tones of rhythm and blues played on the Lodge’s piped stereo system.

  Jesse recognized a few of the other Lodge employees, several current guests and a number of people from town. She scanned the group clustered along the freestanding bar that had been set up close to the central lodge. Gauthier, the kayak instructor, downed a beer as he laughed with John Whitehorse, who ran the hardware store in Manzanita. Mr. Meredith, co-owner of the Lodge, was dancing with a much younger female guest.

  It was typical that Kim could throw such a large party together so quickly and without any fanfare. She was an extrovert and immensely popular with the guests at the Lodge, generous with her attention. She was also a damned good search and rescue leader.

  Very likely Kim could even handle a reincarnated lover. Jesse caught herself on the edge of a lunatic laugh and walked the perimeter of the deck, taking note of every person she passed. It was several moments before she realized what she was doing, and why.

  There was no reason Gary would be at Kim’s party. Even if he were, Jesse’d be damned before she’d let him scare her away. Hadn’t she told Al, in all her false bravado, that she intended to talk to him? But she didn’t know what she would do when she saw him again, and the small hairs at the nape of her neck continued to prickle at every overheard fragment of small talk and laughter that floated across the pool.

  Mr. and Mrs. Weber, the elderly couple Jesse had led on several hikes during the past week, beckoned her to join their small gathering. Jesse did so with silent gratitude. She smiled and took Mr. Weber’s offered arm.

  “Here’s our girl. And don’t you look lovely this evening.” Mr. Weber said. He beamed at his wife and the middle-aged couple beside them. “Mabel and I offered to adopt this young lady, but I think she’s holding out for a handsome young man instead. Someone who can keep up with her on a vertical climb.” He patted Jesse’s hand. “Kim is mighty nice to invite all of us to her party. Have you met the lucky groom?”

  “Not yet,” Jesse said. “I think he was a guest at the Lodge before I began working here.”

  “Well, I must say this place does romantic things to a body.” Mr. Weber released Jesse’s hand and looped an arm around his wife’s waist. “Something in the mountain air. I’m surprised no one’s snapped you up yet, Jesse.”

  “Don’t listen to him,” Mrs. Weber said, rolling her eyes. “Good men don’t grow on trees or pop up out of thin air. Took work to grab this one.” She winked. “You find someone like my Ossie, you do the snapping.”

  Mr. Weber snorted and pulled his wife close for a peck on the cheek. Jesse stared at the redwood deck at her feet.

  Men popping out of thin air. No, they weren’t common. And she didn’t even know if David Ventris qualified as “good.”

  She glanced skyward. In less than an hour it would be dark, and when she went back to the cabin he’d be waiting for her. Waiting with that seductive half smile and reckless edge that made an unexpected and totally outrageous kiss seem natural.

  And he said he wanted to help her.

  “I don’t know,” Mr. Weber said. “Jesse has that look on her face, eh, Mabel? The look of a woman in love.”

  “Don’t tease her so, Ossie. If you had any sense, you’d—”

  “Who’s in love?” Kim materialized beside them, her arm tucked through the elbow of a tall, athletic blond man who grinned at everyone with impartial goodwill. “Jesse! I’m glad you could make it.” She acknowledged the older couples with a smile and turned back to Jesse. “I’ve been anxious to introduce you to Eric. Here he is. Isn’t he to die for?”

  Something in Kim’s choice of words made Jesse’s stomach clench. She hid the reaction and offered her hand to Kim’s fiancé.

  “Good to meet you, Eric,” she said. “I understand you met Kim before I came to work here.”

  “Hello, Jesse,” he said. He cast a mock-wary glance at Kim. “Do me a favor and don’t ask how we met.”

  “Ha,” Kim said. “He was in my beginner’s kayaking group. He knocked the kayak over first time we went out. Everyone was drenched.” She laughed at Eric’s grimace. “Love at first capsize.”

  The way she and Eric gazed at each other convinced Jesse it was love, sure enough. The same love that bound Mr. and Mrs. Weber together so strongly after so many years.

  All at once it seemed as though Jesse saw couples everywhere. She’d never envied them before, or yearned for some elusive happiness beyond he
r hard-won independence and self-reliance.

  There was no earthly reason to start now. “I’m happy for both of you,” she said. “Will you be staying in Manzanita?”

  “It looks as though we’ll be moving south. Eric’s law firm is in the Bay Area. Not that we don’t plan to come up often. And I hope you’ll be able to come to our wedding in San Francisco, Jesse.” Kim actually blushed. “This time you’ll get a real invitation. Eric won’t let me forget.”

  General laughter followed, and Jesse joined in. It was good to see Kim happy. She deserved it. And Jesse realized she’d miss Kim’s companionship at the Lodge and on rescue missions.

  But Jesse was used to being alone. Alone was simple, and you could still help people without getting tangled up in sticky, painful emotions.…

  “Well, we’d better make the rounds,” Kim said. “Not everyone’s met the lucky guy yet.”

  “Including me,” a new feminine voice commented. “Where’ve you been keeping him?”

  Marie Hudson sauntered up to the group, gorgeous and overdressed in a black sheath that hugged her model’s figure. She smiled at Kim and turned the weight of her attention on Eric. “You weren’t kidding when you said he was gorgeous. So how come we haven’t seen him until now?”

  “He hasn’t been up much since last year,” Kim said. “His job in San Francisco keeps him pretty busy—”

  “Oh, San Francisco. I love that city.” Marie rattled on about various upscale boutiques and restaurants while the other couples drifted away. Jesse found herself watching Marie with a strange fascination.

  She didn’t know Marie well, and had never felt any desire to further the acquaintance. Like Kim, Marie had come to town as an adult, only a couple of years before Jesse’s return. Though she and Kim were friends, they seemed to have little in common. Marie was the town flirt, with tastes that seemed a bit too grand for Manzanita. Her clothes were big city. Even her restaurant was a small oasis of trendiness, nouvelle California cuisine in an ocean of burgers and steak.

  Maybe Marie had been running from something. Or maybe she thought she could remake Manzanita into a colony for displaced yuppies. Jesse saw no indication that Marie had the persistence or self-sacrifice necessary to keep a restaurant in business. She wanted too much.